Introduction

What I’m about to share is the heartbreak I had to endure the day I was told, “you cannot see your children.”

That short sentence was a dagger through my heart and lead to a pain that cannot be compared to anything I’ve ever felt.

For anyone reading this, if you have children, please for their sake, put your petty issues aside and put the them first. If you are using them to punish your ex, you are punishing your children too.

Whatever caused your relationship to break down, it has nothing to do with your children and it certainly isn’t their fault.

When or if your ex-partner meets someone, they will want their kids to be apart of that new relationship. Coming to terms with a third party being an influence on your child/children is something you must deal with sensibly and maturely, as difficult as it may be. Just because your ex-partner has moved on with someone else is not a valid excuse to sever contact between them and their children. 

Getting a divorce can be difficult enough on the children without having someone important ripped from their lives.

When this had happened to me, it didn’t take long for my children to become strangers. 

There is not a day goes by that this doesn't way heavy on me, please don't let this happen to you too. 

I have watched many videos and read blogs about other fathers, who may not be the most perfect dads but love and miss their children, and are desperate. Desperate to help fix the breakdown in their relationships and just to spend a moment with their kids. One story was especially heart breaking, where a father had actually given up hope of seeing their children again. It tells a story of a broken man  on the verge of suicide after giving up all hope. 

These stories serve as both inspiration and despair in one fell swoop.

Never give up hope, hope is all you have.

I’ve heard guys talk about a crossroads when it comes to fighting for your children.

Imagine you are standing in the middle of a crossroads, there’s four roads you can take. None of which are particularly appealing, but you must choose, you can’t stay there forever or your options will be taken away.

The 1st road leads to the fight of your life you will spend the rest of your days fighting your ex-partner. Fighting their friends, there family, and a system that seems intent on keeping fathers down.

The 2^nd  is to cut and run. Cut your losses, admit defeat and try as best as you can to lead some sort of normal life. This is not as easy as it may seem. You never see you kids grow up. Your ex has the next X amount of years to turn the kids against you and there’s every chance your kids will suffer as a result and grow up only knowing hate.

The 3^rd road is violence. Personally, I don't think this is  something you should even contemplate, and something I definitely DO NOT endorse. Going through what I am now though I can see why some may act out. The frustration and anger you can feel towards someone that keeps you away from your children can be too much to cope with.

The 4^th and final road is suicide. Again, I don't feel this is an option. I admit I have felt this way in the past. When the 1st road sometimes feels too overbearing and hopeless.  Some say it’s the cowards way out, others sympathise. Suicide is a very permanent solution for a temporary problem. But I get it, when you're so down, you don't see a way out, and every day seems like a torture you can no longer bear. Knowing they're out there and not being able to be apart of their lives. 

I have read and heard many stories, some joyful, some not so much. I can only hope mine ends in tears of joy. 

This blog will be updated as my story unfolds and I hope it can provide some kind of guidance or hope to someone else.